After the War: Severus' Story
by MaritimeStars
Summary: After the war, Professor McGonagall is the Headmistress, with Severus as her Deputy. However, he still is carrying emotional wounds from the war. Warning: Contains themes of depression. No pairings as of yet. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

This story deals with some darker topics (depression, ect) and is not like my other stories.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything, not me.

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A warm female voice penetrated his slightly foggy mind.

"Severus, would you care to join us for drinks?" Poppy gently asked the Potions Master as he sat, apparently deep in thought after their latest staff meeting. It was the week before school and Minerva had been calling daily staff meetings.

"No, I have potions that need to be tended," he answered before standing up and briskly leaving the room.

"Wow, he used the same excuse days two days in a row. He must be distracted by something," Minerva commented.

"Maybe he actually has potions to tend to?" Rolanda offered.

"I just wish he would talk to someone – he just buries his emotions. After all he went through in the war.." the Healer's voice quietly trailed off.

"No sense in brooding over a party pooper like him," Rolanda Hooch pipped before breaking out the scotch and started pouring some for her friends.

'_Lily, sweet, Lily_,' he murmured as he ran his hands over the only photo of them together. She was laughing and smiling as he stood smirking in the background. '_If only I was with you in the afterlife._'

"Now, Severus, that is no way to be thinking," a fatherly voice said from beside him.

"You aren't here Headmaster, how would you know what this is like? Most of society hates me for killing you, even though the truth came out. I can't even go out to Diagon Alley without someone attempting to hex my back. The only person to publicly apologize was Potter, I still can't figure out why he did that," the younger wizard growled at his mentor. Usually he was more polite, even though his mentor was now a ghost, but he wasn't feeling well and he wanted to be left alone tonight.

The ghost form of the great wizard Albus Dumbledore quietly sighed and and moved off. So far, he had only showed his form to Severus and was intent on getting Severus back to his normal, sarcastic self. However, all of his efforts so far had failed and he was beginning to wonder if he should appear to one of the other staff members.

Severus, who had been deep in thought, took the picture of him and Lily into his bedroom. He knew Albus respected his privacy enough to not intrude on his private sanctuary.

"Severus?" Dumbledore's voice called from the other side of the door.

"Just leave me in peace, Albus," he growled back. Dumbledore felt that something was off and decided that it was time to appear to the resident Medi-Witch.

The only problem was that Poppy was in staff lounge, and it was mostly full with the various staff members. Rather than cause a stir by appearing to all of them, Dumbledore discreetly cast a charm that made Poppy urgently have to get back to the Hospital Wing.

"Oh dear! Look at the time! I need to be getting back to the Hospital Wing" she said as she excused herself from the party and made her way through the twisting corridors.

As she walked into her office, she couldn't remember why she so urgently needed to come back. But, standing in her office, was the ghost form of the ex- Headmaster.

"Headmaster!" she shrieked in surprise.

"Ah, Poppy, I was wondering if you might have a minute to chat?"

"Alright," she said, confused about why the Headmaster would appear to her first.

"I have been guarding over Severus for the past year and a half. As I am sure you have noticed, he has not recovered fully from the war. This evening, his seemed angrier and I was wondering had anything happened at the staff meeting?"

"No, we just talked about the usual boring all matters. He refused our invitation for drinks afterwards but that's nothing unusual," she answered.

"Hm. If you had the time, would you mind going to check on him? Just briefly, of course," he suggested, "Oh and could you not mention it was me? He is angry with me enough as it is."

The Headmaster's ghost disappeared, leaving Poppy to walk down the dungeons by herself. When she reached the damp hallway of his personal quarters, she shivered before knocking on the door.

"Severus?" she called.

"What?" he snapped.

"May I come in for a moment? Its rather chilly in this hallway."

"Fine." She heard him heavily walk to the door – something highly unusual for the graceful Potions Master.

Once she was inside of his personal lab, she decided to be honest up front with her reason for intruding his personal space.

"You seemed a bit off these past couple of days. Is everything alright?" she asked gently.

"It is none of your business," he growled as he rubbed his forehead to try to ease his aching head.

"Actually, it is my business since I am responsible for your physical and mental well-being."

"Did Dumbledore put you up to this?"

"Perhaps. But I haven't seen you eat anything solid in days and you are paler than normal. Please, let me run a quick check on you."

"I thank you for making the trip all the way down here to check on my well-being but I can assure you, I am perfectly fine," he tried taking the polite route.

"Severus..." she said in a warning tone.

Dumbledore chose then to reappear and he laid his hand on Severus' shoulder. The Potions Master flinched back badly in surprise, before staggering over to a stool and sitting. Poppy was startled by the fact that Severus showed his surprise and his mask of control temporarily slipped.

"Severus, my boy, I will not be a ghost much longer. You need to open up to someone else eventually."

"I have a headache and you think I am suicidal or something?" the younger man snapped back.

"How long have you had a headache?" the Medi-Witch instantly had her wand out.

".," he growled dangerously at her before continuing in a more normal voice, "Are you two ganging up on me?"

"Poppy, please excuse Severus and I for a moment," the Headmaster said as he dragged a protesting Severus to the other corner of the lab.

"Severus, let her help. I have known her for many years and I feel that you two could be good friends if you would let her in. She only wants to make sure that you are okay – not because you are a war hero, or because it is her job but because she honestly cares about you. I must pass on to the afterlife soon and I do not want to see you alone in this world after I leave," the Headmaster lectured the Potions Master. Severus returned the lecture with a glare that would have sent most first years out of the room crying instantly.

"I can take care of myself."

"Yes, you can but you don't have to. Besides, I can see that headache of yours and the lack of real nourishment has made you ready to collapse. If you end up collapsing tonight or at breakfast tomorrow, she will confine you to the Hospital Wing. However, if you admitted it now she might be more willing to negotiate the terms of your treatment."

Severus just continued to glare at the former Headmaster.

"I promise to use my powers of persuasion to let her treat you in your own quarters," Dumbledore offered.

"I will not have her in and out of here."

"So you would prefer the Hospital Wing? Where everyone else can come visit you as well as know your condition?"

"How is that you are always right, Albus?"

"Practice, my boy, practice. Come along."

"How much are you planning on telling her?" Severus asked, having not moved from the corner.

"Nothing, my boy, you are going to be the one telling her." The Potions Master silently groaned to himself.

"My apologies for keeping you waiting, why don't we go sit down the by fire for a few minutes?" the Headmaster said as he opened the door to Severus' private quarters.

Poppy shot an amused glance towards the Headmaster when Severus was unable to silence his groan this time.

A few minutes later, Poppy was sitting in the old armchair by the fire and the Headmaster was sitting on the floor, as if he was a young boy once more. They exchanged worried glances when Severus plopped down on the couch and fiercely began to rub his forehead.

The Potions Master let out a quiet sigh before saying, "I have had a rather severe headache for the past week and I have been unable to be rid of it, despite taking the strongest Headache Remedy I can."

"I see. Did it come on gradually or all at once?" Poppy kept her wand safely away – for now.

"Gradually."

"And your appetite?"

"The smell of food makes me nauseous. The only thing I can keep down has been mint tea."

"Sounds like it might be more than just a a headache. Any fever or other symptoms?"

"Slightly elevated temperature and some dizziness but nothing besides that."

"Has it made you more tired or unable to sleep?"

"I haven't been quizzed this much since I went before my Mastery board," he muttered to himself but stopped when Dumbledore sent him a warning glance, "My eyes are significantly more sensitive to light so I am most comfortable lying down with my eyes closed but I have not been able to sleep."

"What Potions did you try?"

"I can retrieve the vials if you would like." he offered as he prepared to sit up.

"Stay. You can just as easily summon them," she suggested.

"My magic weakened and then completely stopped working two days ago," he whispered.

"Stopped working? You can't brew even?" He merely nodded affirmative.

"I am going to need to run a scan of you, in the hopes that it will tell me something more."

"I understand," he answered in a resigned voice.

Once she had cast the reveleo, a small piece of parchment appeared, which she read eagerly. The Headmaster's ghost read over her shoulder.

"You are a bit old, my boy, to be casting accidental magic," the ghost commented as he made his way back to the floor.

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Thank you for reading and please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, I don't.

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"Accidental Magic?" he sat up very quickly but became very dizzy as he did so. Poppy was at his side instantly and gently pushed him back down. He glared at her but said nothing.

"Your magical core has been completely drained due to this magic," the Healer answered but she sounded distracted.

"There is something else, isn't there?" he demanded.

"I'm afraid so, Severus," she sighed before continuing, "Your accidental magic seems to have centered around a self protection spell. Somehow, your magic is trying to protect you from harming yourself. The scan also showed several small cuts on your arms in various stages of healing" she stated to her colleague.

Severus turned his head and refused to look at either his mentor or the Healer.

"Oh, Severus," she said, a tear escaping down her face.

"The immediate concern is to figure out how to cancel this spell so that your magic can successfully recover. We can deal with the other issue later on." she stated more professionally a minute later.

"I have an idea," Dumbledore chimed in, making Severus finally raise his head and glance suspiciously over at him.

"If Severus became a Healer's Apprentice, you could set the conditions so you be instantly notified should he attempt anything. The ancient magic of the apprenticeship would cancel out the accidental magic. It would also give him substantially more protection when he leaves the castle," Dumbledore explained.

"Absolutely not!" Severus roared before fleeing to his bedroom.

"Albus, how am I supposed to help him when he resists it so much? Your idea has merit though if he doesn't accept help soon, I am going to have to notify St. Mungo's and have him dragged in for a physc consult. Legally, it is my obligation," she whispered to the ghost, so that Severus could not hear them.

"I know, Poppy. If this spell is not canceled soon, what will it do to him?"

"He is at risk of losing his magic, especially if his will to live has already gone," she answered sadly.

Dumbledore floated his way through the wood door separating the living room and the bedroom. He found Severus tightly curled up on his bed, clutching the photo of Lily.

"Get out of here, Headmaster! You can take your meddling and go!"

"Calm down, Severus. If you don't accept her help, you are going to lose your magic and then you will have to be confined to St. Mungo's. Surely being an apprentice is more free than that?" Dumbledore explained in a stern voice.

"Lose my magic?"

"If a depleted magical core is still being taxed, eventually a person's magic will evaporate. I have been told it is a highly unpleasant experience that makes most people go permanently insane."

"You already think I am in insane."

"No, my boy, I do not. I see a young man who is extremely depressed but has some will to live left, or else you would not have cast the accidental magic. Please, let her help you. She can work with you here, since she is also a certified Mind-Healer. You would never have to step foot in St. Mungo's" Dumbledore replied, gently.

"What about Minerva and the others?"

"Oh, I should think that I could find something to explain it to them without having the truth be known."

"So its her or St. Mungo's?"

"Afraid so."

"Alright, I'll do it. But I will not be treated like some slave, like I was last time when I was an apprentice."

"I am sure we can work out the appropriate conditions. Are you going to get up and go back out or do you want me to bring her in here?"

"I will go out there but I will lie down on the couch again," Severus said in a half growl as he longingly looked at the picture of Lily. "Would you stop doing that!" he shouted as Dumbledore laid his hand on the Potions Master's shoulder again.

"Sorry, my boy, I keep forgetting."

When Dumbledore floated his way back to the living room, Poppy gave him an amused glance when she saw Severus slowly trailing behind him, the photo of Lily still in his hand.

Severus immediately laid down on the couch and closed his eyes before began to speak in a near whisper: "I will consent to be your apprentice but I will not tolerate being ordered around all day. I would like to keep my teaching position and my own quarters, if at all possible."

"Those are fair conditions and I will continue to treat you as my colleague, not my apprentice. I am afraid you will not be able to teach for a couple of weeks yet, at least until your magic sufficiently recovers. Also, you will need to be under a monitoring charm at the minimum until I have deemed you not a risk to yourself and you will have to consent to counseling sessions with me or another Mind-Healer. That is standard protocol but I wanted to make sure that you knew what to expect."

"Perhaps it would be best if Severus took a sabbatical for the fall term. There is a long term recovery suite that has a bedroom and living room where he could live. That way he could concentrate all of his time and efforts into healing and not have to worry about teaching," Dumbledore suggested.

"Would you consent to that, Severus? Living in the quarters next to mine?"

"If I still have access to my private lab." Severus continued to speak in a very quiet voice, his eyes half closed.

"You would be welcome to take over the brewing room of the Hospital Wing. I am sure the castle would expand it for you if you asked nicely enough."

"Would I be required to display the Healer's Apprentice Medallion? I don't want everyone to know."

"You could wear it around your neck, under your collar. If you continued to wear your black teaching robes, no one would suspect anything," she replied. The Healer was very happy to see that he was somewhat willing to get the help he needed, but she was concerned about his health.

"May we do the ceremony in the morning? I am exhausted," he said quietly after a few minutes.

"Let's go to the Hospital Wing, and perform the ceremony. It will probably completely drain you so I want to monitor you closely tonight. The longer this accidental magic keeps working, the less likely it will be that your magic will make a full recovery," she suggested as she offered her hand to help him up.

"What are we going to tell Minerva?" he asked as they slowly made their way up to the Hospital Wing. He was still clutching the photo of Lily in his right hand while Poppy was supporting him on his left side.

"I was thinking of telling her that you have a magical illness that has depleted your magic core so it would be best if you took the fall term off to completely recover. It would also explain why you would live in the long-term recovery suite."

"In all my years here, I have never seen that set of rooms."

"That is because you have never been inside of the private passage way connecting my quarters and the Hospital Wing," she explained as they reached the large oak doors. Severus paused for a minute and drew a deep breath. She gently squeezed his hand in a silent gesture of support before opening the doors and leading him to the farthest bed, which is where ill teachers usually recovered.

"How does the old magic work?" he wondered while she magically changed his teaching robes into warm flannel pjamas with bubbling cauldrons on them, "Hey! I am not four years old!" he protested when he saw the cauldrons.

"Oh, alright," she gave in after a few seconds and changed them to a deep green. She summoned the Healer's Apprentice Medallion and handed it to him.

"Was this your personal one?" he asked in disbelief when he saw "P. Pomfrey" etched into the side.

"I have not yet taken an apprentice so I have had no reason to go out and get another one," she explained as she arranged a couple of potions on the nightstand beside him.

"Now, hold the medallion with your left hand and touch your right hand to my right hand," she instructed. He was still sitting on the bed.

"Shouldn't I be standing up for this?"

"Its not necessary," she said as picked up his right hand with hers. Next, she tapped her wand to the medallion.

"Do you, Severus Tobias Snape, agree to become my legal apprentice an unspecified amount of time?"

"I do," he answered, feeling like he was in a wedding.

"And, do you agree to not physically or emotionally harm yourself as long as you are in my service?"

"I do."

"You are now officially a Healer's Apprentice, bound to Poppy Pomfrey," she finished up. She tapped her wand twice on the medallion. Instantly, the Potions Master could feel his body being less taxed and all of a sudden his eyes became very heavy.

She gently helped him lay down on the bed and then covered him with thick blankets, before casting a diagnostic charm.

A minute later she read the scrap of parchment "Temperature 100 F (37.7 C), Moderate Headache, Magical Core Severely Depleted, Dehydration."

"So it worked, at least," she thought, "Now we can focus on recovering his magical core and the depression." Next, she carefully inserted an IV line to get some fluids in his system. She finished up straightening the Hospital Wing before going to bed herself. If anything changed in his condition, her wand would automatically wake her.

She checked on him every two hours but he slept soundly through the night. When Severus hadn't awakened by 9 AM, she decided it was time for him to try to eat something.

"Severus," she said softly, as she shook his shoulder, "wake up."

"Why?" he answered sleepily, "Can't I sleep for five more minutes?"

"You can go back to sleep after breakfast but I want you try to eat something."

"Not hungry," he retorted.

"Severus, don't make me get a bucket of ice water."

"Alright, alright, I'm awake," he grumbled as he attempted to sit up. She magically arranged the pillows behind him to support him.

"I feel very weak," he admitted quietly.

"You haven't eaten in days and you have almost nothing in your magical core which is why you are weak. The IV is to get some fluids in your system," she explained as she put a bowl of plain porridge and a glass of orange juice on the tray.

"May I eat something besides porridge?"

"You can try but this is probably the only thing you will be able to keep down," she smiled at his disgusted look.

"Minerva will probably come in here soon since we have tea every morning together around this time. Did you want to talk to her?"

"Might as well get it over with," Severus answered as he played with his porridge.

"Don't play with it, eat it," she said sternly.

"Poppy?" the Headmistress called from the doorway of the large room.

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Thank you for reading! If you like this and want to see it continued, please read. If there isn't any interest on the site, I probably won't waste effort on trying to update. So please let me know if you want to see it continue at a regular interval!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I just wish I did.

Enjoy!

"One second, Minerva!" Poppy helped Severus sit up a little straighter before disappearing through the curtains.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had a patient," Minerva apologized when she saw Poppy emerge through the curtains, "On a separate note, Severus wasn't at breakfast, have you seen him?"

"Actually, Severus is my patient and I believe he has a request to make of you," the Healer explained as she led her friend over to the Potions Master's bed.

When she opened the curtains, the two witches found Severus playing with his porridge. Minerva was startled to discover how frail and thin he looked when he was not wearing his voluminous teaching robes.

"I thought I told you to eat it and not play with it," Poppy half-joked as she magically conjured another chair for herself.

"And I thought I told you that I wasn't hungry. Morning, Minerva."

"Good Morning, Severus. How are you?'

"I'd be better if I didn't have to eat this stuff."

Poppy rolled her eyes and instantly the porridge was replaced by two pieces of toast.

"Thank you, Poppy," he answered before attempting to eat it.

"Poppy said that you had a request to make?" Minerva asked quietly when he had finished his toast.

He let out a long sigh before answering, "Last night, Poppy diagnosed me with a serious illness which has completely drained my magical core. It is going to be a long recovery and a long time before I will have full use of my magic so I would like to request to take a sabbatical for the fall term. Poppy has offered me the use of the long-term recovery rooms so another Potions Master would be able to live in my suite. But, for now could you please not tell anyone I am in the Hospital Wing?"

"I am sure Professor Slughorn would be happy to come back for a term. Would you still be willing to be Head of House for Slytherin? It can be hard on students to switch Heads in the middle of the year."

"May I have a day or two to think about it?" he responded after a glance at Poppy.

"Of course. I should get back to my paperwork, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask," the Headmistress smiled warmly at him before departing.

"Would you care to eat some more? I see you kept the toast down alright," the Healer asked him.

"No, thank you. Would it be alright if I slept until lunch? I am still exhausted." Poppy could see that it was still taking a toll on him emotionally to admit that he needed rest and help.

"One question first: Would you like me to be your Mind-Healer or would you prefer someone else?"

"You, please. The fewer people that know, the better," he immediately answered.

"Then after lunch we will have our first session. I am leaving a bell here, ring it if you need anything or are having trouble sleeping. Also, please don't attempt to get up without my assistance, you are still too weak." He nodded his consent as she arranged the pillows so he could sleep more comfortably. Then, she left him to go back to her own start-of-school preparations.

"I see you are doing better already, my boy." The Headmaster appeared next to the bed just as Severus was about to drift off.

"Can this wait until later? I really want to go to sleep," the Potions Master mumbled sleepily.

"Of course. Pleasant dreams," the ghost answered before disappearing again.

Meanwhile, Minerva had quietly made her way back into the Hospital Wing and over to Poppy's office.

"Is he sleeping?" the Transfiguration teacher whispered.

"He should be. Did you come for our daily cup of tea?"

"Yes. How did you discover his illness?" Minerva questioned as she made a tea service appear before them.

"Something about his demeanor felt off yesterday so once I left the staff lounge I went to go check on him." the Healer shrugged as she prepared her tea with two cubes of sugar.

"How long will it take for him to recover his magic?"

"I can't really discuss the details of his illness with you. If you want to know, I suggest you ask him."

Just then, Poppy's wand began violently vibrating and she rushed out of the office. She discovered Severus wildly thrashing in his bed, his IV torn out from his hand, but he appeared to still be asleep.

"Severus! Wake up!" He, however, did not, even after she had poured a pitcher full of ice water on him. Finally, she resorted to magically restraining him so that she could heal his hand, even if she couldn't wake him.

As she was finishing bandaging his hand, he stopped struggling against the restraints.

"Severus?" she questioned.

"Poppy?" he answered, as his eyes fluttered open. "Why does my hand hurt? And why am I in restraints?"

"My alarm went off and I discovered you thrashing in your sleep. You tore the IV out. I couldn't wake you so I restrained you to prevent you from hurting yourself further. I will remove them as soon as your hand is fixed. Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes," he said simply before staring up at the ceiling silently. The Healer decided not to pressure him into telling her just yet since it was hard enough for him to show his weaknesses in front of her.

She finished bandaging his hand and then removed the restraints before magically drying his pjamas.

"Ice water?" he questioned.

"It was worth a try. Did you want to try to go back to sleep?"

"No, I am awake now. Are you going to put another IV in?"

"Actually, I was thinking of waiting to see how you respond to the potions regimen."

"Potions Regimen?"

"A cocktail of strengthening potions, nourishment potions and a light pain potion," she explained, "In fact, I believe you invented this particular one."

"May I read for a while?" he asked, unsure of what he was allowed to do and not allowed to do while he was recovering. Normally, Poppy only allowed her patients to sleep.

"Of course. I will call my personal house elf, Cindy, to retrieve what you want. Cindy!"

"Yes, Mistress Pomfrey?" the elf asked as she bowed.

"This is Master Severus. He will be working with me for the next term and I want you to listen to him as if he was your Master. Right now, he needs you go retrieve something from his personal quarters in the dungeons," the Healer patiently explained. Severus noticed that the house elf was wearing a specially made white robe with a red cross on it, instead of the standard towel with a Hogwarts crest.

"Could you please retrieve my latest copies of _Potions Today _and_ The Daily Prophet?_"

"Right away, Master Severus," the elf popped out. A few minutes later she reappeared holding the requested journals.

"Thank you, Cindy," he said absentmindedly as he eagerly began to read his trade journal. The little elf bowed and then was gone again.

"If you need anything, just ring the bell," Poppy said to Severus but she was pretty sure that he had already toned her out and was intent on reading the entire journal.

As Poppy made her way back to her office, she could see the Headmistress still sipping her tea.

"Everything alright?" Minerva questioned when she saw that Poppy's apron was covered in blood.

"Nothing to concern yourself with. Did you discover a way to take the Muggle-born first years shopping yet?" Poppy then magically cleaned her clothes.

"I had been planning on asking Severus to take them but I will probably ask Pomona or Filius to do it. I forgot to ask him if he wanted to resign as Deputy Headmaster," Minerva sighed.

"Why don't you come back and eat lunch with the two of us? You could always ask him then."

"Good idea, Poppy," the Headmistress smiled before beginning to gossip about Quidditch teams.

"Severus, what would you care to eat?" Poppy poked her head through a curtains a couple of hours later.

He looked up for his Potions Journal and answered, "Do you think I could handle chicken soup?"

"Coming right up. Minerva will be joining us for lunch, since she thought of a couple of new questions to ask you."

"Alright," Severus appeared thoughtful, "I would like to stay on as Head of Slytherin, if you are agreeable?"

"I think that it would be a good idea for you stayed involved in the matters of the school to some extent so that your transition next term will be a lot smoother," she answered before performing a diagnostic charm.

"I see that your fever is completely gone and so is your headache. Now all we need to do is get some strength back in you and you will be able to resume all non-magical activities," she added after reading the slip of parchment. The Healer disappeared for a moment and returned with a large goblet of bubbling liquid.

"So this would be the Potions Regimen you wanted to start me on?" he commented as he peered into the goblet.

"You should recognize it, you did, after all, invent it. And brew it," she teased as she watched him drink it without any further questions.

"I should have invented it with flavor."

"Sounds like a project to work on during your sabbatical. Especially since you will be taking that for the next few weeks."

"Weeks!" he exclaimed, "I am not that weak!"

"We will see how you respond to it and make decisions one at a time," she answered diplomatically, to keep him from being upset right before lunch, "For now, lets see if we can get you out of bed and over to my office."

Severus managed to completely sit up by himself before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The Healer supported him as he put his feet on the floor. She managed to catch him when his knees buckled underneath him.

"Alright, maybe I am weaker than I thought I was," he admitted as she placed him back on the bed.

"Ready to try again?" she asked cheerfully. This time, they were successful. It took them about ten minutes to make their way over to her office, where a small table was set up.

"Thank you," he whispered to her as she changed his clothes from pjamas to a casual set of clothes.

Minerva walked into the office just then and smiled to herself when she saw Severus at the table.

"I didn't expect to see you out of bed so soon," she commented as Poppy ordered the lunch.

"Neither did I but Poppy can be stubborn when she gets an idea," he whispered to Minerva.

"I heard that, Severus."

"Heard what? The truth?" he retorted.

"Nice to see your illness hasn't affected your snarkiness," Minerva chuckled. "I was wondering if you wanted to stay on as Deputy Headmaster. The duties are relatively light but it would require you to eat meals in the Great Hall everyday and be available immediately."

Severus slowly sipped some of his soup before putting down his spoon.

"Poppy has suggested that I stay moderately involved in school affairs so that the transition during Spring Term would go more smoothly. I believe, if Poppy will agree, that staying on as Deputy Headmaster and Slytherin Head would be a good idea – especially since it will keep me from being bored. However, my health comes first and I reserve the right to resign if I find I am in over my head."

"Of course I want you to stay busy – how could I deprive you of terrifying students?" Poppy commented lightly, "But you and I will have a chat later before I will say yes," she added sternly, looking directly at Severus.

"So an answer by dinner, perhaps?" Minerva asked hopefully. While she didn't want to pressure Severus into making a decision, she needed to know so she could begin putting things in place for the upcoming school year.

"Definitely," Poppy agreed. She noticed that Severus had stopped eating completely after she had mentioned their counseling session and wondered if nerves were preventing him from eating. When he looked up at her, she raised her eyebrow in a silent question. He responded with a scowl.

The Headmistress watched the interplay between the two and wondered what really was going on. Severus did not appear all that ill but he definitely was underweight. She had never heard of a magical illness that would deplete a person's magical core without also having other severe symptoms.

"I should go make an appearance in the Great Hall. The House Elves have prepared your new quarters for you so as soon as you are ready, go ahead and move in. Have a good afternoon," Minerva said quietly to the two of them, who were both still engaged in their silent conversation.

"Thank you, Minerva," Severus answered as she departed.

"Alright, back to bed with you," Poppy motherly said after she had banished their meal.

"I am feeling pretty good actually, could I go look at my new quarters? For that matter, could I move in to my new quarters tonight? And start sleeping in my own bed?" he practically begged.

"Do you really hate this place that much?"

"Its too bright. And people can come in and out much too easily," he scowled.

"If you promise to spend the rest of the day in bed, we can move you into your new quarters. But, I am going to take you there in a wheelchair because it is farther than I want you to try to walk."

He groaned and put his face in his hands.

"Or, you can not go in the wheelchair and spend tonight in here. Its your choice, I don't care either way." He didn't respond so she continued on, "In order for you to get better, you are going to have to let me help you. I know its hard to admit weakness after hiding it for so long, but it will get better. The faster we can get your depression righted, the faster your magic will manifest itself again. And the faster you will be allowed to brew again."

As soon as he heard the word brew, he looked up at her and sighed wistfully.

"Alright, I guess I can accept the wheelchair. Its less humiliating than a stretcher, I guess." She smiled and went to retrieve the wheelchair.

Carefully, she helped him sit up and transfer to the chair. She then pushed him through her office and down a well-light but narrow passageway. In about the middle of it, there was a portrait of a grandmotherly looking woman, wearing Healer's robes. Severus instantly recognized her as Helga Hufflepuff.

"Good Afternoon, Helga. I have a new resident for you – this is Severus Snape," Poppy explained the patiently waiting portrait.

"Good Afternoon, Poppy and Severus. You are the Head of Slytherin, are you not?" the portrait answered.

"I am but I am taking a term off so my quarters will be used for the current Potions professor," he explained quietly.

"Well, it will be nice to have someone living in here again. What do you want your password to be?"

"Tiger Lily," he whispered and both women smiled at his choice.

"One of my favorite flowers. Just so you know, I am required to open for the resident Healer at all times but I will ask the password for anyone else. I hope you have a pleasant afternoon," Mrs. Hufflepuff said as she swung open to reveal the living room.

The room was decorated in light greens and light yellows. A fireplace was on one wall, and a desk sat in one corner of the room. One wall held three huge windows overlooking the lake while the other two walls had huge bookcases. There was an arm chair and a couch in front of the fireplace. One door led to a large bathroom, including a fancy bathroom with the fancy bath tub. The bedroom was a deep red and held a king's size canopy bed.

Severus noticed that discreetly hidden there were five or six pull stations scattered around the quarters.

"What are the pull stations for?" he asked when Poppy had transferred him to the couch and then started the fire.

"They are emergency calls which can summon me in an emergency. You are not the first person to stay in this room who has no use of their magic. The bathroom is also completely muggle and the lights can be turned on using a "light-switch" I believe they are called. But you grew up Muggle, right? So this isn't completely foreign?"

"Right," he absentmindedly answered.

"Shall I call Cindy to transfer everything in your quarters over here?"

"What about my private lab? I have some very fragile stuff in there," he asked, with a worried expression.

"Just ask her to leave your private lab alone and bring everything else over here," Poppy suggested as Severus gave her a sheepish look before shivering slightly.

"Chilly?"

"A bit," he admitted as he pulled the throw down on top of him and yawning.

"Call Cindy and then take a nap while she moves your stuff in," Poppy told him as she summoned a real blanket and pillow, "I will be back around 4. Ring the bell if you need me," she held up the bell to show him. A quick swoosh of her wand cast a monitoring charm on him and she departed.

"Cindy!" he called before sneezing.

"Bless, Master Severus. How can I help you?"

"Could you please move everything out of my personal quarters into these quarters but leave the private lab alone. Touch nothing in there," he explained before sneezing again.

"Bless again, Master Severus," the House Elf said as she held a tissue out to him which he gratefully accepted, "Anything else?"

"Not right now, thank you," he mumbled sleepily. The House Elf smiled to herself before popping out and getting started on her job.

A/N: Thank you for reading. Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with his world....

* * *

When Severus awoke a few hours later, he was surrounded by his favorite books again. The picture of him and Lily had even found its way to the coffee table.

"How are you feeling, Severus?" Poppy asked when he seemed to be mostly awake.

"Alright," he answered as he yawned.

"Cindy has reported that you are fully moved in so you can sleep here tonight. Are you ready for your first counseling session?"

"No, but I don't actually have a choice now do I?" he grumbled.

"Not really. Would you care for some tea before we begin? I also need to run a diagnostic charm on you."

"Doesn't a monitoring charm act like a diagnostic charm?" he questioned as she ordered tea.

"No. A monitoring charm alarms if there is a significant change in your condition or at a certain point, such as a high temperature. A diagnostic charm merely tells me what your condition is," she explained as she helped him sit up on the couch.

When she cast the diagnostic charm, he shivered unconsciously when the magic poured through him.

"You are sensitive to magic being cast around you?" she speculated when she observed his reaction before reading her piece of parchment.

"Fever of 100 F (37.7 C) again, some dehydration still," she commented before crumpling the parchment and throwing it in the fire.

"Is there any reason why my temperature would come up again? Why did I have one in the first place?"

"You had one originally because your magic was fighting within itself and your body thought that you had a magical infection so it used a fever to attempt to get rid of the infection. Your body is still stabilizing which is partly why you are still so weak and probably why your fever came back," she explained, "Nevertheless, I will have to monitor it a bit closer to make sure that it doesn't keep rising."

"Would it be possible for me to take my own temperature and record it for you? That way it would save you the hassle of having to come in here every so often and would at least give you the evening off," he offered as he sipped his tea.

"Perhaps. Now, I wanted to talk about staying on as Deputy and Head of Slytherin first. You should stay busy but part of the sabbatical idea was to give you some break from the students so you could concentrate on you first. If I feel at any time that you are neglecting your own health or progress because of your duties to the school, I will force you to resign temporarily. Understand?"

"I suspected that you might put a condition on it like that," he answered but didn't seem terribly upset.

"Well, now that we have an answer for that, we can move on," she suddenly grabbed his arm and pushed up his sleeve, "to talking about this. Explain."

"It helps," he whispered. She let go of his arm and sat back in her chair, patiently waiting for him to go on.

"It helps with the pain, when it hurts physically it hurts less emotionally, like a distraction almost" he added a few moments later.

"When did in start?"

"Almost as soon as I got home from St. Mungo's. I did not feel that I was worthy of living after all the pain and death I caused," he answered, truthfully for once.

"Do you still feel that way?"

"I killed the man who was like a father to me. I killed others too, even more with all of the potions I created. Potions for causing slow and painful deaths, for torturing prisoners. And then were was that Muggle girl," he stopped suddenly there and refused to continue on.

"And the nightmare?" she coaxed after about five minutes of silence.

"Just another fun night in the service of the Dark Lord," he answered angrily,

"How often do those occur?"

"You will find out soon enough," he growled.

"Severus," she warned, "I am trying to help you but I can't do that if you won't help me a little. If I know how often they occur, I can give you something to help you get a decent night's sleep."

"Dreamless Sleep doesn't work or any of the others I have found so far," he retorted.

"There are other ways-- ," she started to explain.

"I've tried them all. Nothing helps," he sneezed violently here, "I'm just an ex Death Eater who was pardoned. But I should have gotten the Dementor's Kiss like all of my Death Eater brothers."

She silently passed him a tissue before getting up and walking out of the quarters.

"Everything alright, Poppy? I heard shouting?" the portrait asked when she opened to let the Healer out of the quarters.

Poppy's face was now completely tear stained and she looked up at her portrait-mentor through wet eyes.

"I need you to activate the self-harm protection spell within the quarters. Make sure there is absolutely nothing sharp he could use. If he tries to use anything, let me know," the Healer explained when she could speak again.

The portrait closed her eyes and then magic swirled through the passage way.

"His quarters and the Hospital Wing are both protected now. Now, you should take a couple of deep breaths, go wash your face and then go tell him what an idiot he is for even thinking that," the portrait suggested motherly.

"Thank you, Helga," Poppy answered sadly before making her way to her own quarters at the end of the passageway. She whispered the password and slipped in before splashing her face in cold water.

"Oh, Severus, what ever am I going to do with you? I should probably go the stern route, since that is how you typically operate and you can respect that," she thought to herself as she left her quarters.

"You look much better, dear," the portrait commented before swinging open.

"Severus, whether you believe it or not, you are a wonderful person who has done a lot of good for society. From this night forward, you will keep a journal of all of your thoughts and every morning you will be required to present it to me. In addition to all of your thoughts, you will write down every nightmare and what it is about. You may write about anything but if you neglect your journal, I will place you on mandatory bed rest until you begin to comply. Without a journal entry for each night, I will not allow you to read, brew, or leave your bed even to go to the couch," she ordered sternly with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yes, Poppy," he said quietly with his head bowed before letting out a string of sneezes.

"Bless. These counseling sessions are supposed to help you heal but you can only do that by being honest with yourself and me. Bless you – again. Helga has activated a special protection around this quarters that will prevent you from harming yourself if you somehow manage to get through the magic of the apprenticeship," she explained.

"I understand. Achoo! I wanted to apologize for my behavior, I am unaccustomed to losing control like that. Achoo! Achoo! "

"I hope you aren't coming down with something. I am going to run another diagnostic charm," she said, worriedly.

"Why did you leave?"

"A Mind-Healer is not supposed to show her own emotion during a session so I felt it was best to leave and let us calm down separately," she said as she read the parchment again.

"Your fever has risen slightly, I hope you didn't catch an infection in your weakened state. I will get you a Pepper-Up before dinner," she explained before throwing the parchment in the fireplace.

"Why are you squirming like that?" she asked when she saw him fidgeting on the couch.

"This is very embarrassing but I have to go the loo," he admitted quietly. She smiled and performed a bladder relieving charm.

"Thanks," he whispered.

"No problem," she answered gently. "I would like to start off by having daily sessions until your depression lightens some – and it will," she added when she saw his doubtful look. "When you start to feel unworthy of living or the need to harm yourself, I want you to ring the bell twice. That way I can talk you through it, alright?"

He nodded once before sneezing again.

"Do you feel strong enough to try walking on your own? Or do you want to wait until tomorrow?"

"I can try it now, I suppose. Is Minerva coming down stairs for dinner again?" he questioned as he slowly pulled himself into a sitting position.

"Well, its 4:45 now. We can eat down here before I have to go up. Dinner starts at 5:30 in the Great Hall, and I should go to the staff meeting after wards. I want you to bathe quickly – Cindy will help you – and while you are doing that, come up with an explanation Minerva can give to the staff at the meeting," Poppy said.

"Alright," he sighed before starting to get up. Poppy was there to catch him if needed but he managed to get himself over to the bathroom unassisted.

"Thanks," he whispered once they were at the threshold.

"No problem. Cindy!"

"Yes, Mistress Pomfrey?" the little elf questioned as she bowed.

"Help Severus bathe and then make sure he gets to his bedroom okay. I will be in the Hospital Wing if you need me," the Healer explained to the elf before leaving to give Severus some privacy.

Thirty minutes later, Severus, now freshly clean and shaven, was sitting up in his bed. Poppy summoned food for the two of them. Severus was pleased that he had progressed to chunky turkey stew.

"Did you think of a reason for your absence at the staff meeting?"

"Perhaps we could tell them that I am working with you on developing certain healing potions and decided to take a fall sabbatical. As for this evening, saying I am tending to personal matters should suffice."

"Sounds good to me," she answered as she banished their dinner plates. After a quick lecture about calling Cindy or ringing the bell if he needed anything, she departed for the staff meeting. As she passed through the Hospital Wing, she grabbed a piece of parchment and wrote, "_You can tell everyone that Severus is taking a fall sabbatical in order to develop some new healing potions. To explain his absence tonight, if anyone asks, tell them he is tending to some personal matters and was not able to attend." _ Poppy quickly charmed it so only Minerva would be able to read it before hurrying out of her office.

"Evening, Poppy," Rolanda greeted when she reached the staff lounge

"Evening," Poppy responded as she slipped the Headmistress the charmed note. Minerva read it over quickly and nodded.

"Everyone is here but Severus. Would you like me to go fetch him?" Pomona Sprout offered a few minutes later.

"No, thank you. Alright, everyone the meeting is going to start," Minerva used her classroom voice to quiet her staff.

"Where is Severus? We can't start without our Potions Master," Rolanda pipped up.

"He is tending to some personal matters tonight and is not able to join us. Now, we need to discuss the new muggle-borns. Every one of them has responded to their letters using the owl provided but we need to take them shopping in Diagon Alley. Would someone please volunteer?" The meeting dragged on for about an hour before finally they reached the last topic of discussion.

"There is one more issue I need to inform you of tonight. Today, Severus requested that he be allowed to take a fall sabbatical in order to develop some healing potions in conjunction with Poppy. He has offered to stay on as Head of Slytherin and Deputy Headmaster but I'm afraid that leaves us trying to find a new professor for the fall term. Does anyone have any ideas?"

"Is Severus going to continue to live in the Potions Master's quarters?" some one pipped up.

"No, he is currently living in the suite next to Poppy's and will continue to do so for the fall term," Minerva patiently explained.

"The Weasley twins were always brilliant at potions. Why don't we ask one of them?" Filius Flitwick suggested.

"Good idea," Minerva answered, grateful that someone had come up with a suggestion. Professor Slughorn had already told her that he was not willing to come back for just a fall term.

Just then, Poppy's wand vibrated. As she rushed out of the room, Poppy caught sight of Minerva's temporarily concerned face. Fortunately, everyone else was so distracted by Poppy's abrupt departure that no one else noticed.

* * *

Another AN: Sorry about the delay, to make up for it, I should have another chapter posted shortly (like in a couple of days).

Thank you for reading and a special thank you to: grugster, stargazer0607, N. Forest (who is also an amazing writer!), Linoria and everyone else who has reviewed!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns everything.

* * *

Within a few minutes, Poppy was standing outside of Severus' bedroom door.

"Severus? May I come in?"

"You never asked permission before, why ask now?" he snapped back at her but his voice was extremely hoarse.

"I'll just take that as a yes," she responded as she pushed open the door. He was curled up in a tight ball under three heavy blankets but was still shivering. Cindy was standing by the bed, looking frustrated.

"Mistress Pomfrey! You came!" the little elf squeaked with happiness.

"What's going on?" the Healer demanded of the two.

"Master Severus is cold and unable to warm up. Me thinks he is ill, Mistress," Cindy explained.

"Who rang the bell?"

"I did," Severus hoarsely answered her, "Maybe you can get this pest to leave me alone."

Poppy raised her eyebrow at the little elf, as if waiting for an explanation.

"Master Severus summoned me and asked me to bring him another blanket because he was cold. I did so. A few minutes later, he asked for another one so I brought him another one. He kept shivering and wouldn't stop so I told him that he should call you. I was persistent until he actually called you. Me thinks he is very ill, Mistress," Cindy explained.

"Thank you, Cindy, you are dismissed," Poppy said as she cast a diagnostic charm over Severus, who had now crawled completely under the covers.

"Can you please come out of there for a few minutes?" the Healer asked when she had read the results.

"Why?" came the muffled question.

"Because I would like to talk to you and don't feel like talking through a blanket. Now, Severus, or I will pull the blanket off of you."

Severus emerged from the tangled mess and glared at Poppy.

"It seems that you have the beginnings of bronchitis and are running a fairly moderate fever now. I will give you a fever reducer and Pepper-Up but this will set back your recovery of your magic some. Sleep – I will spell the potions directly into your stomach."

"Can you make it warmer too?" he asked before yawning.

"Of course," Poppy answered as she magically adjusted the temperature of the room to be quite a bit warmer.

"Better?"

"Thank you," he mumbled, now barely awake.

"Sleep," she told him once more before spelling the potions into his system.

After making sure that he was resting comfortably, she silently left the quarters and proceeded to her own.

"Headmistress' Office!" she called through the internal floo system.

"Poppy, what happened?" Minerva's face appeared in the flames a few minutes later.

"Nothing serious. Do you want to come share a cup of tea?"

"Actually, I feel like tonight should be an early night, with the students coming back in three weeks and all" the Headmistress yawned as if to make her point.

"the Fearless Minerva actually admits she needs sleep? Ridiculous!" Poppy smirked. Unfortunately, their fun was cut short by Poppy's vibrating, yet again.

The Healer rushed in to the neighboring quarters and discovered Severus' fever had spiked and he was thrashing around on the sweat soaked sheets.

"_Its gonna be a long night"_ Poppy thought to herself as she tried to wake him up. Eventually, his movements stopped on their own and his eyes slowly fluttered awake. She had managed to pack a couple of cold compresses around him to slightly lower his fever.

"Those are cold," he mumbled, still not quite fully awake.

"That's the point. Your temperature spiked and I am trying to get it down some. Are you feeling significantly worse?"

"Yeah," was all he managed to get out before he began to cough. She helped him sit up before arranging the pillows behind his back Once he had recovered, he immediately fell back asleep, exhausted.

Poppy stayed awake the whole night, never leaving his side, in order to care for her sick patient. She mused, at about 2 AM, that his body must have been so weak from casting the accidental magic and then fighting within itself, that the magic that normally kept witches and wizards healthy was no longer able to function. Since his magic was not able to boost his immune system, his body was having a much harder time of fighting off the illness.

The next few days, Poppy never left his side, as she watched his body struggle to fight off the illness. Eventually she got a hold of some muggle medicine, which slowly began to help his body fight.

When he woke up on the fourth day, he realized it was about midday. Sun was filtering in through the large windows that overlooked the lake. Poppy, however, was asleep in an uncomfortable-looking position.

"Poppy?" he tried to say but it only came out as a hoarse whisper. _"I have not lost my voice in years, I must have been pretty ill"_ Severus thought to himself as he hesitantly tried to sit up. When he figured out that he was able to sit up without being significantly dizzy, he pushed himself up and tried to speak again.

"Poppy?" he said a little more loudly, and it actually came out as something intelligible.

"Oh!" she exclaimed when she saw him sitting up unassisted. "How are you feeling? Better?" she asked kindly as she performed the diagnostic charm.

"Your fever seems to have broken, which is good. Does your chest hurt?"

"It does hurt a bit to breathe but I do not have an urge to cough" he answered honestly. To himself, he admitted that it was the first time he actually answered one of her questions without serious prompting from other people.

"May I ask a personal question, Poppy?" Severus asked hesitantly, after he had taken his potions.

She eyed him suspiciously for a few seconds, before saying "Sure."

"Would you like to take the afternoon off? You seem rather exhausted and I will admit that Cindy is most...competent in keeping watch over me."

"Now that you are out of danger, I don't see why it would hurt to have Cindy watch you for a bit. Thank you, for that suggestion," Poppy replied as she got up and stretched.

"Cindy!" she called.

The little elf popped into existence and then squeaked, "Yes, Mistress Pomfrey?"

"Could you please watch Severus for a while? I will just be next door if you need anything."

"Of course Mistress Pomfrey," the little elf curtsied but eyed the Potions Master distastefully.

"Both of you, behave!" Poppy admonished before leaving the quarters.

"Does Master Severus wish for anything?" Cindy asked respectfully.

"Do you think I might be able to have some pumpkin juice? Or some ice cream?" Severus asked timidly. His throat was still sore and he thought that those might make him fell a bit better.

"Vanilla or chocolate?" Cindy questioned.

"Moose tracks?"

"What would Master Severus want with Moose Tracks? Is that a Potions Ingredient?" Cindy was definitely confused at this point.

"Um, its a kind of muggle ice cream..." Severus slowly trailed off.

"I will see what the house elves can do, Master Severus," the little house elf answered before disapparating.

"She will be my favorite House Elf if she can manage to obtain moose tracks for me," Severus thought as he relaxed into his pillows.

When Cindy reappeared with his favorite kind of ice cream, Severus was secretly overjoyed. And, Cindy did become his favorite houself.

Later in the week, Minerva and Poppy were sitting in her office, enjoying a cup of tea. Severus stopped in at one point, his strength recovered enough to walk short distances.

"Poppy, I am going to retire early tonight. I shall see you in the morning, then?" Severus asked Poppy as he retrieved a navy blue journal from Poppy's desk.

"Sounds good, Severus. Meet you for breakfast in the morning. Good night," Poppy said gently. Minerva also echoed with her own good night.

The two women spent the remainder of the evening chatting and gossiping like two teenage girls. It was the summer holidays, after all, and the teachers deserved some fun. Poppy made a quick check of Severus and discovered that he was sleeping peacefully – a peace that was not destined to last through the night.

At around three in the morning, Poppy woke up to her wand vibrating violently. She immediately jumped out of bed and threw on a robe before hurrying to Severus' quarters. When she arrived in his bedroom, she discovered him violently thrashing around in his bed.

"Severus! Wake up!" she commanded, as she summoned a pitcher of ice water, figuring that if her first tactic didn't work, she could always dump it on him.

"I promise to be good, Father!" he screamed out in his sleep.

_'Oh, this is not going to be a good night,_" Poppy thought to herself.

"Severus!" she warned once more, before dumping the ice water all over him.

"Huh?" he answered sleepily, "Why do you always have to use ice water?" he questioned when he was slightly more awake.

"Because it seems to be the only thing that will work to wake you up. Care to chat about that one now or would you prefer to write it out in the journal?"

"Journal, definitely. Did I, um, say anything out loud?" he asked tentatively.

"You did in fact – 'I promise to be good, Father,' she quoted for him, as she magically dried his pajamas, "Would you care for some hot cocoa before you return to sleep?" she asked gently.

"That would be fine, thank you," he muttered absentmindedly. He reached for the journal on his nightstand and furiously began to write in it.

Poppy smiled inwardly, happy that he was being cooperative with the journal, before calling Cindy to order them drinks. She also distractedly cast a diagnostic charm to double check on his condition.

Severus sneezed violently a couple of times, before accepting the steaming hot mug of hot cocoa.

"Bless. Are you feeling better? Physically at least?" Poppy questioned.

"A tad. I am at least getting more sleep than I have in weeks," he offered, surprising both of them that he offered information about his condition.

"And you feel that you have sufficiently recovered from your bout with bronchitis?"

"Still a bit congested but the Potions Master who brewed the Pepper Up did an absolutely wonderful job. It worked very efficiently."

"I never knew you had such an odd sense of humor, Severus."

"There are many, many, things that you don't know about me, Poppy," he half growled.

The next few days passed in the same pattern. Severus would sleep most of the day and night but his sleep was frequented by nightmares of all sorts. Poppy watched worriedly as his magic made no sign of recovery.

* * *

Sorry if this is a bit of a boring chapter. Don't worry, the students will be arriving soon!

Please review!!


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